Here's the information: Friday Fictioneers from Madison Woods
And here's my 97-word story:
She stared, blinking into the fluorescent glare that buzzed above the hospital bed, hearing the soft beeps and whooshes. She was there, pinned, and he was gone—oh yes, she remembered the guard rail, the screaming crunch, then nothing but this.
How soon would the sisters let themselves in to the house to pick over their things, to pull open the box of letters—old intimacies, or pluck out the lingerie—new ones? Who would lay bare the furnishings of a marriage, when the couple were pried apart?
Three tears rolled into her matted hair.
You know, it's really scary to do that. Anyone want to join me?
14 comments:
I really enjoyed this ; such understandable concerns, a grief with which you made it so easy to empathise. Welcome, see you next week.
Thanks, Sandra! :-) I don't really have time to Write, but I think I can handle a 100-word little story once a week.
Very nice, Cindy, and welcome. It's lots of fun. I've been doing this about a month now, I think. But it can get time-consuming, too!! I try to read all of them but with vacation this time, I may not make it.
Hi Cindy: Welcome to FFictioneers. Don't be surprised if you get "hooked" to FF's... Your story is frightening bec., unless there is family or a will, I've seen the vultures go into apts. after the elderly pass on (in my hi-rise) apt. I'm #10 on the list.
This is a fascinating idea. I was genuinely impressed with your contribution. So far I have read one other and it was good too. What a great way to stretch yourself as a writing teacher! I am tempted. My problem is that 100 words is not too hard but beyond that I am hopeless. It is the plot that gets me. Your entry though had a plot and an atmosphere.
Thank you for the original inspiration to do this, Janet!
Thank you, Lora--I'm about to go look at yours.
And Cindy/Ordo-Amoris, go for it! I, too, doubt my capacity for going beyond the 100 words, for the same reasons. But this little bit of practice is manageable. Abby hates mine, because it's sad and scary. I promised her I'd try for happier this week. :-)
Abby sounds like Emily! I like darkly weird stuff but Emily is all sunshine and light.
You really invoked emotion in this piece. I wanted to jump to her rescue, intervene with the "sisters," before she could be hurt any further. Well done.
Dear Cindy,
Let me say welcome aboard even as I cringe to see the Blogger site come up (I used to be one of you but made the crossing, thank my lucky stars).
I thoroughly enjoyed your inaugural piece and look forward to more. You packed a great deal of powerful emotion and dark atmosphere into 97 words. Good job.
Aloha,
Doug
Makes me glad that I'm an only child.
I'll add my welcome to FF, Cindy. Beware! It's habit forming. A great place for feedback. I, too, have little time to devote to this but somehow manage to find some because I love it.
I enjoyed your story and am looking forward to reading more from you.
Thanks for your comments, Anonymous, Doug, Marilyn, and Rochelle! What a fun first time with Friday Fictioneers!
strong entry - thanks
Thank you for a fine story using my picture and WELCOME to the Fictioneers!
~Susan
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