Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Friday Fictioneers, Delayed: "Bluer Than Blue"

(This post is actually from November 29, 2012, but I keep getting spam comments on it, so I'm experimenting with a different way to post it, for posterity.)

Friday Fictioneers is an opportunity to join a community of writers in the challenge of creating a 100-word story from a single picture.*  I just love the color in this week's photo prompt. And that woman with the shopping bag--she had to be in the story, in that sanitized place, all pretty and open and safe.  A passing comment from someone today gave me the kernel of the story, and here we go!

(Image deleted in hopes that that will stop the spam I've been getting on this post!)

Bluer Than Blue

Daniel had to get away, onto the open road. Still his taut teen self inside, grizzled in the beard but long and lean. The Harley was the ticket out of Mediocre, Pennsylvania down to the Magic Kingdom—a zipping roar away from the doughy missus, the disappointing son.  She understood--had a free flight of her own to escape with. They’d decorate for Christmas later.

He rounded a corner in Celebration, Florida, the sky impossibly blue at dusk, lights everywhere. Buzzing from the saddle, swaggering in boots, ready.

She looked right at him, denim up and down—“Daniel, you, too?!”

100 words

*Happy anniversary, Rochelle, our photographer this week!

1 comment:

Cindy Marsch said...

Comments from the original: 18

waitingforaname said...
Cute story. Reminds me a little of that song in which a man puts a personal ad in the paper and his wife responds... "If you like pina coladas..."

November 29, 2012 at 6:31 PM
janet said...
Love your description of him and you made good use of the place names. I think this is the best thing you've done for the Fictioneers so far.

November 29, 2012 at 7:10 PM
Mari Wells said...
Wonderful story.

November 29, 2012 at 8:31 PM
Anonymous said...
Hi Cindy,
Really liked the way you put this together, and put them together for a twisty ending. Ron

November 29, 2012 at 8:44 PM
Cindy Marsch said...
Waiting, I thought of that song, too, and that's the first thing my husband mentioned. Hope it's not TOO derivative, you know? :-)

Thanks, Janet! I wouldn't have chosen this as my favorite of what I've done here, but it's good to know it's yours. I'll think that over . . .

Thanks, Mari and Ron!

November 29, 2012 at 8:54 PM
Shirley said...
Great minds think alike. Nice story.

November 29, 2012 at 9:28 PM
rich said...
celebration, florida? i'm curious what you know about it because i have been thinking of moving there. it's a special place.
November 29, 2012 at 10:04 PM
Boomie Bol said...

November 29, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Lora said...
From Mediocre, Pennsylvania to Celebration, Florida. Hey, I would hop on that Harley in a heartbeat. Nice twist at the end. Maybe more "bored" couples should take that journey. Nice work.

November 29, 2012 at 10:56 PM
Silently Heard said...
Enjoyed reading.

November 29, 2012 at 11:53 PM
Managua Gunn said...
Very clever!

November 30, 2012 at 1:54 AM
Sandra Crook said...
Really liked this - lovely thought.

November 30, 2012 at 3:24 AM
worksbyclaire said...
I loved the description 'the doughy missus', but felt sorry for the 'disappointing son' even though he didn't really feature. Nice story.

November 30, 2012 at 3:34 AM
Brudberg said...
Really good description of the guy. I enjoyed reading a lot.

November 30, 2012 at 4:18 PM
very well written, shows lots of flair and style. here's mine:

November 30, 2012 at 6:19 PM
Cindy Marsch said...
Thanks, everybody. Rich, I just know I've heard of Celebration, but I've spent some time in the Kissimmee area since my grandfather was the town doctor in St. Cloud in the 1960s, and I spent happy days there at Lake Impossible-to-Remember-or-Spell. We took the kids about ten years ago, and it was very different from the 1970s, when Disney first opened and my grandmother used to take my sister and me to lunch at the Polynesian Hotel. She'd drop us off at River Country to spend the morning there, she'd drive to the hotel and people-watch, then we'd ride the train over to the hotel and have lunch with her. Did that two or three times in junior high and high school--fancy times! :-)

November 30, 2012 at 9:44 PM
Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...
What a fun twist,Cindy. I also thought of the song "If You Like PiƱa Coladas".

December 1, 2012 at 5:56 AM
Bookie said...
Nice visuals for me, the two mounted on Harley Horses!
December 1, 2012 at 8:06 AM