Saturday, October 6, 2012

Friday Fictioneers: "An 'Experience' "


Here's this week's attempt at a 100-word story based on a photo prompt for Friday Fictioneers.  I have gone over the word count significantly the last few times and decided to go spare this time. Please join us if you'd like!



An "Experience"

I was dubious about the lighthouse for our next B&B. The last was a comfy pink Victorian with a creaky fan and a claw-foot tub, crowded mantels, and tasseled velvet.

But here the seagulls screamed and swooped, and the spotlight high above us groaned. Our hostess, flecked with iridescent scales, thumped down the platter of fresh boiled fish, gestured to the lump of butter and the bottle of hot sauce by the tureen of hot grits, and grinned at us, arms akimbo. A sticky gust of bright wind blew open the shutters as we scraped back our wooden stools.

99 words

13 comments:

Jess Schira said...

You're second paragraph is a lovely bit of descriptive writing.

Rochelle Wisoff-Fields said...

I'd be dubious, too if my hostess was flecked with iridescent scales.

Beth said...

I love this!

What a great sense of place. I felt like I was right there smelling the fish, being weirded out by the scales(!), seeing the swooping birds and hearing the scrape of the wooden stools. Great job and thanks for commenting on mine.

http://banterwithbeth.blogspot.com

sustainabilitea said...

Definitely living descriptions. From the scales, I thought you were doing a fantasy or something, but with "arms akimbo", a phrase I love, BTW, I decided she was just dressed "interestingly"!

Sandra Crook said...

Great descriptions really gave life to this. Loved the hostess, though I'll pass on the meal. Nice one.

Anonymous said...

Hi Cindy,
Description so vivid I feel like I'm there. I guess we know how the hostess procured those fish. Isn't that fish-on-fish violence? I can see why you're a writing assessor! Ron

vbreverb said...

Sounds as if she was serving up one of her own--times must be tough in the lighthouse B&B business.

Cindy Marsch said...

Thanks, everyone! You folks are a lot of fun with your comments. I had intended only to suggest that the hostess (a human) had scaled the fish herself and thus was flecked with some scales, but I understand how many Friday Fictioneers would assume some fantasy was thrown in.

I was once offered boiled fish and grits for breakfast by some Australians in the Bahamas--they lived in a house on stilts. And my husband and I had our first B&B experience in San Diego this summer, at a Victorian place as in the first paragraph. The layout of homey-but-pretty things, and all those mugs on the cup hooks, reminded me of that B&B.

Something about this photo made me think of the seaside (bright light outside, spare furnishings, fish decor on the wall), and the tall walls seemed to taper in a bit, perhaps, making me think of the shape of a lighthouse. And thus the story.

Thank you, everyone!

Shirley said...

Great imagery. Felt cold to me, with the wind off the sea. Good job.

Lora said...

Creepy and chilling. I would pack my bags and find a different B&B.

Cindy Marsch said...

Thanks, Lora and Shirley!

http://ironwoodwind.wordpress.com said...

Dear Cindy,

Let me second the motions of all the great comments that came before I arrived. I loved you second paragraph. It firmly placed me there at the table and I loved the irredescent scales adorning their host.

Aloha,

Doug

Cindy Marsch said...

Doug, I always look forward to your comments--they bring honor to my efforts!